yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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