She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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