turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
