are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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