i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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