Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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