We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
