After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
sarcasm needs its own font
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
