happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
