Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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