the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize