Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize