Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

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(714): View more from California

Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.

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(805): View more from California

We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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(518): View more from New York

I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.

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(619): View more from California

im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.

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(434): View more from Virginia

I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER

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(352): View more from Florida

You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.

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(802): View more from Vermont

My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week

(475): View more from Connecticut

How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple

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