last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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