you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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