how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
