maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
