I showed him my bush... on skype.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
