I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
