There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
as a side note pls kill me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
