well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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