This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
