So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize