if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
