People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize