we need to drink 2009 down the drain
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
