how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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