my sisters under your porch take her home
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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