Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
