Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
