normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
