I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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