she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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