sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
