it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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