i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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