I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
