we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
