Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
