she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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