I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
