Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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