Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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