you traded sex for a burrito?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
