A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
