ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
