you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
