Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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