my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
