Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Non-Jews are for practice
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
