can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
