Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
