Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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