Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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