yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
birth control should be required to get into college
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
