um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
