You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
