I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
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