forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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