Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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