I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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