Acid is not a monday night drug
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize