; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
