please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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