I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
